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Sync and corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

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The President doesn't care

3
00:01:26,151 --> 00:01:27,278
about the Hispanic plight.

4
00:01:27,403 --> 00:01:30,114
He doesn't care
about poor Mexicans...

5
00:01:51,135 --> 00:01:53,971
Well, you didn't miss much, if
it makes you feel any better.

6
00:01:54,096 --> 00:01:55,404
Except movie night.

7
00:01:55,524 --> 00:01:57,975
We got Joe Versus the Volcano.
That was pretty good.

8
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,144
And we got meatloaf twice.

9
00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:02,814
Personally,
I think it should be baked,

10
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:05,316
and here they steam it
so it gets all pasty.

11
00:02:05,399 --> 00:02:07,568
Do not tell Red I said that.

12
00:02:07,652 --> 00:02:10,988
I mean, she knows, but she got
feelings just like everybody else.

13
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,658
You know those good mashed
potatoes that Red makes,

14
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:15,075
from the real
potatoes and not the box?

15
00:02:15,159 --> 00:02:16,160
Yeah.

16
00:02:16,285 --> 00:02:19,413
Maybe you could ask about getting
some of that served up tonight.

17
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:20,748
You her girl.

18
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,501
Well, she works up the menus
a week in advance, so...

19
00:02:24,502 --> 00:02:27,045
Think about what
I've been through.

20
00:02:29,841 --> 00:02:31,509
Can't promise anything.

21
00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:49,694
Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30! Ha-ha!
Who's the big talker now?

22
00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:50,987
You were
counting too fast!

23
00:02:51,069 --> 00:02:53,113
Bullshit, Vause.
I told you, it can't be done.

24
00:02:53,197 --> 00:02:54,907
Six saltines in 30 seconds?

25
00:02:57,660 --> 00:03:02,874
You are a disgusting animal.
Okay? What the fuck?

26
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:06,168
I mean, which is a quality
I greatly admire in a person.

27
00:03:06,251 --> 00:03:07,795
You're in touch
with your primal self.

28
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:13,384
Yeah, well, my primal self cannot
resist a dare, apparently.

29
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:17,763
Which is also how I ended up
with three broken toes

30
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,682
and, briefly, chlamydia.

31
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:21,726
And in prison.

32
00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:24,269
Well, that wasn't so much
a dare, as it was a deal.

33
00:03:26,772 --> 00:03:29,567
Officer Webster,
pick up extension 414.

34
00:03:36,741 --> 00:03:39,577
Hey, get over here.
You're missing a moment.

35
00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,913
Visitation will be
ending in five minutes.

36
00:03:44,164 --> 00:03:45,875
God, SHU must really suck ass.

37
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,125
Man, she was in
there for two weeks.

38
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,210
I've taken shits
longer than that.

39
00:03:52,548 --> 00:03:55,467
Hey, Kate Winslet.
See any icebergs?

40
00:03:58,679 --> 00:04:00,056
They're back again, Janae.

41
00:04:04,184 --> 00:04:06,144
Cut that out!

42
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:09,815
Boys chase girls!

43
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Whatcha gonna do
if you catch us?

44
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:13,235
Only one way to find out.

45
00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:14,904
Go back to your mama.

46
00:04:15,112 --> 00:04:16,864
Ooh...

47
00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:35,591
Janae! Quit showing off!

48
00:04:59,865 --> 00:05:02,994
Good morning. Welcome.

49
00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,912
- Hey!
- Ladies of the WAC.

50
00:05:04,996 --> 00:05:07,456
Are you taking us
to prom or something?

51
00:05:07,539 --> 00:05:08,660
Just close the door, please.

52
00:05:12,336 --> 00:05:13,671
Thank you.

53
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:16,632
All right.

54
00:05:18,009 --> 00:05:21,679
Now, a small token
of my esteem.

55
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Dang, Healy.
That's proper!

56
00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:27,935
Oh!

57
00:05:28,435 --> 00:05:29,854
Now you talk
about this outside,

58
00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:31,396
you never see bear claws again.

59
00:05:31,522 --> 00:05:34,066
Silencio, Mr. Healy. We're
gonna be like Red's lady.

60
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What's her name?
The one that don't talk?

61
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Norma.

62
00:05:36,777 --> 00:05:38,029
We gonna be like four Normas.

63
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All right, now,
business,

64
00:05:41,197 --> 00:05:45,870
i.e. if you will, the concerns
of your fellow inmates.

65
00:05:46,202 --> 00:05:51,416
Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get
for sleeping is thin like paper.

66
00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:55,295
Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows.
For ergonomics.

67
00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:57,048
A second pillow?
Write it down.

68
00:05:57,381 --> 00:06:02,053
Okay, first of all, the hot sauce
in the commissary is bullshit.

69
00:06:02,136 --> 00:06:04,889
We want that Thailand sauce, the
one with the rooster on it.

70
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:06,515
Rooster sauce.

71
00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:08,726
And second of all,
ain't no reason we can't

72
00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:11,020
get Fifty Shades of
Grey in the library!

73
00:06:11,145 --> 00:06:12,980
We talked about this,
Jefferson.

74
00:06:13,105 --> 00:06:14,940
Fed's not gonna
subsidize erotica.

75
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,526
I've got a copy.

76
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:19,153
I've got one, too.

77
00:06:20,821 --> 00:06:22,573
Fifty Shade.

78
00:06:23,574 --> 00:06:27,243
I withdraw my request. But Maria's
straight up about the pillows.

79
00:06:27,703 --> 00:06:29,245
Pillows again. Chapman.

80
00:06:31,456 --> 00:06:33,084
You're done?

81
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,668
Far as I know.

82
00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:36,545
Okay.

83
00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:40,966
The thing is, I think
that a few basic changes

84
00:06:41,092 --> 00:06:43,886
could drastically
improve the quality of life.

85
00:06:44,469 --> 00:06:49,100
Like clinic hours every week
for preventative health care.

86
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And re-opening the track.

87
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And maybe legal counseling.

88
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And the GED program.

89
00:06:57,357 --> 00:07:01,319
Now, I understand that there's a
mold situation in the classroom,

90
00:07:01,445 --> 00:07:02,947
but this needs to be addressed.

91
00:07:03,114 --> 00:07:05,241
The inmates down the hill,
they get classes,

92
00:07:05,365 --> 00:07:07,492
and they are not
getting out any time soon.

93
00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:09,787
We are here for shorter stays.

94
00:07:10,121 --> 00:07:12,998
We should be learning
to improve ourselves,

95
00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:14,625
as students

96
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:17,962
or even teachers.

97
00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:21,882
Something's telling me
she has a teacher in mind.

98
00:07:24,051 --> 00:07:25,052
Chang, you're up.

99
00:07:25,136 --> 00:07:27,138
Okay, Mr. Healy. Okay.

100
00:07:33,644 --> 00:07:35,187
Lay it on me, Chang.

101
00:07:35,312 --> 00:07:36,563
Okay.

102
00:07:41,652 --> 00:07:42,820
Good.

103
00:07:42,945 --> 00:07:44,786
We got a good list going here,
some good ideas.

104
00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:46,073
Now, the problem as I see it...

105
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:47,449
No, sir, I really think that...

106
00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:50,161
...is that we have
a budget situation.

107
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:52,663
Now, I can do my best,

108
00:07:53,497 --> 00:07:56,500
but it's gonna be hard for me
to do all these things

109
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:59,461
and still be able to bring donuts
to our meetings every month.

110
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And coffee.

111
00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:08,846
Well, we tried.

112
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What just happened?

113
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You were there.

114
00:08:17,354 --> 00:08:18,939
We finally get an opportunity

115
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:20,607
to make some improvements
around here and...

116
00:08:20,691 --> 00:08:22,442
Don't be gettin' all Amistad
on me, Chapman.

117
00:08:22,526 --> 00:08:24,695
Healy look like he
gunning for change?

118
00:08:24,778 --> 00:08:27,031
Okay, but what about your
campaign promises?

119
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:28,394
Everyone say
shit to get elected.

120
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You ain't actually gotta do it.

121
00:08:29,825 --> 00:08:31,451
That's politics.

122
00:08:31,785 --> 00:08:33,912
I got a disciplinary
board hearing this week,

123
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which, if they don't take away
my good time, I go home.

124
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Healy said he would write
a letter vouching for me.

125
00:08:40,878 --> 00:08:42,546
I ain't looking to make waves.

126
00:08:42,629 --> 00:08:45,590
Glassy water. Smooth sailin'
right on out of here.

127
00:08:46,591 --> 00:08:51,096
So this whole WAC
thing is basically bullshit.

128
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Just take the donuts, girl.

129
00:08:59,063 --> 00:09:00,480
Can you believe her?

130
00:09:00,564 --> 00:09:03,441
That college bitch thinks
she can come up in here

131
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,736
and take charge of
shit with her nice teeth

132
00:09:05,819 --> 00:09:07,988
and her pinky
stuck up in the air.

133
00:09:08,072 --> 00:09:09,573
She's got a surprise coming.

134
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,408
Is it a pony?

135
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:13,994
Just shut your trap, Lurch.

136
00:09:14,078 --> 00:09:16,454
Nobody cares what's comin'
outta them slit lickin' lips.

137
00:09:20,584 --> 00:09:22,169
Did you vote for her?
No.

138
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:23,921
Did you vote for her?

139
00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:26,464
Who voted for that bitch,
raise your hand! Raise it.

140
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:28,800
That's what I thought.

141
00:09:28,926 --> 00:09:32,930
Some Garden-of-Gethsemane
shit up in here, y'all.

142
00:09:33,097 --> 00:09:38,727
Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied
on up to the High Priest Healy.

143
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,271
And he throws out my vote.

144
00:09:40,354 --> 00:09:43,023
My votes that
were bestowed upon me

145
00:09:43,148 --> 00:09:45,817
from my Lord,
and gives her all the silver?

146
00:09:47,569 --> 00:09:50,948
So in this analogy,
you're Jesus Christ?

147
00:09:51,531 --> 00:09:53,284
I've been betrayed.

148
00:10:33,991 --> 00:10:36,285
Oh, gosh! Oh, no, no.

149
00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:38,662
Uh...

150
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:45,169
Gonna be a while. I'm a little
backed up in here. Sorry.

151
00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:02,269
We were starting to
think you deserted us.

152
00:11:04,771 --> 00:11:09,734
I tried making that coconut cake myself.
Nicky called it "coco-not."

153
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:13,197
What pain did you bring down
on her for that?

154
00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:17,575
She was right.
Your cake is inimitable.

155
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:23,457
Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary
book out of the library.

156
00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:26,710
You got to keep the brain
cells working, or they die.

157
00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:30,047
To be honest, there's a few things
I wouldn't mind forgetting.

158
00:11:31,048 --> 00:11:32,548
Norma saw you in the library,

159
00:11:34,009 --> 00:11:37,054
bent over a law book like a
boy hiding a titty magazine.

160
00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:39,806
I got interests
beyond coconut cake.

161
00:11:40,098 --> 00:11:42,393
So does every idiot in here.

162
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,728
Where's my Mexican vanilla?

163
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:46,562
Oh.

164
00:11:52,861 --> 00:11:56,865
Everything off the books
lives like Anne Frank now.

165
00:12:11,129 --> 00:12:12,588
Seems like a lot of trouble.

166
00:12:13,507 --> 00:12:17,094
You get too comfortable,
people take advantage.

167
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:20,764
You got it under control?

168
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,768
Don't go looking for miracles,
Claudette.

169
00:12:25,436 --> 00:12:28,272
You and me, we figured out
how to do time.

170
00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:35,904
Well, at least it's
better than SHU, right?

171
00:12:37,406 --> 00:12:40,658
I mean, the isolation
must just be terrible.

172
00:12:41,368 --> 00:12:42,453
Or not.

173
00:12:42,536 --> 00:12:44,162
I've never been to SHU.

174
00:12:44,871 --> 00:12:46,915
I've read that it can be
very loud down there,

175
00:12:46,998 --> 00:12:49,293
with people yelling
at each other all the time?

176
00:12:51,753 --> 00:12:53,422
When I said that
I'd never been to SHU,

177
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,257
did that make me
sound like an asshole?

178
00:12:55,382 --> 00:12:56,592
Because obviously I didn't...

179
00:12:56,674 --> 00:12:58,302
Fuck, Chapman.

180
00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:03,848
Ah!

181
00:13:04,224 --> 00:13:07,311
Here's why
the floodlights went out.

182
00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:10,355
It looks like
a rat got to this.

183
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:12,732
Ew! I fucking hate rats.

184
00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:16,153
My brother had one
while we were growing up.

185
00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:18,155
It was kind of cute, actually.

186
00:13:18,238 --> 00:13:19,990
He named it Antonio.

187
00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:23,827
I saw one chewed
up a baby's face.

188
00:13:23,952 --> 00:13:26,246
I named it "fuckin'
face-chewing rat."

189
00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:28,248
You gonna fix the wire or what?

190
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:29,707
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

191
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:34,421
Ah! Shit!

192
00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:35,880
Did you turn off the switch?

193
00:13:36,006 --> 00:13:37,341
I thought that you
turned off the switch.

194
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:38,842
Oh, man!

195
00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:40,844
It's okay. It's my fault.

196
00:13:43,138 --> 00:13:45,849
So you're back
in the rooms, huh?

197
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,060
I hope they didn't
stick you with De Marco.

198
00:13:49,186 --> 00:13:51,021
I mean, she's super
nice and everything,

199
00:13:51,146 --> 00:13:55,859
but, man, that breathing machine
can just drive you bonkers.

200
00:13:57,528 --> 00:14:01,031
You know, if you want,
I can make you some ear plugs.

201
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:03,575
I take a little bit of
stuffing out of a pillow,

202
00:14:03,699 --> 00:14:06,203
and I just smush it
up in some Vaseline,

203
00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:10,040
and then I wrap it up in some
plastic wrap from the sack lunches.

204
00:14:10,123 --> 00:14:13,669
The rooms is full, all right?
I'm in the ghetto tonight.

205
00:14:13,877 --> 00:14:16,129
But you could still
use them in there.

206
00:14:16,213 --> 00:14:18,215
I'll make you some, okay?

207
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:24,095
Jesus fucking shit.

208
00:14:24,846 --> 00:14:26,181
Sorry?

209
00:14:27,182 --> 00:14:28,308
What?

210
00:14:31,728 --> 00:14:32,812
It was you.

211
00:14:33,564 --> 00:14:34,565
What?

212
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:36,567
The screwdriver what.

213
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,069
Acting all sweet
like a piece of candy.

214
00:14:39,986 --> 00:14:42,573
Nobody's sweet in
here except for a reason.

215
00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:45,783
I don't know what
you're talking about.

216
00:14:45,909 --> 00:14:48,745
Do not fucking
lie to me, bitch.

217
00:14:49,621 --> 00:14:53,041
Do not fucking insult me
after what you done already.

218
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:02,551
In my defense,

219
00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,095
I would just like
to point out that technically,

220
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,061
you did not go down
because of the screwdriver.

221
00:15:07,097 --> 00:15:08,377
Technically,
you went down to SHU

222
00:15:08,432 --> 00:15:10,016
because you got all
up in Caputo's face.

223
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:13,604
Lady, we in a tight-ass space
and I bench 140.

224
00:15:13,687 --> 00:15:16,565
You sure "technically" is how
you wanna handle this shit?

225
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:20,860
Are you gonna say anything?

226
00:15:23,196 --> 00:15:24,489
I ain't a snitch.

227
00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:31,829
Damn!

228
00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:37,335
See? This one got
the same number on both ends.

229
00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:39,296
The first time you play that,
it's called a spinner.

230
00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:42,633
You have to play the ends
and the sides, both.

231
00:15:43,258 --> 00:15:45,843
Like a no-class girl
lets you use any hole.

232
00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:48,639
Yeah.

233
00:15:57,105 --> 00:16:00,651
These are all the places I'm
gonna travel when I get out.

234
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:03,945
Starting with Anguilla.

235
00:16:04,028 --> 00:16:06,823
I read that Orlando Bloom
honeymooned there.

236
00:16:06,948 --> 00:16:08,388
And Courteney Cox
and David Arquette,

237
00:16:08,492 --> 00:16:09,909
even though that
didn't work out.

238
00:16:10,285 --> 00:16:13,913
I love the beach,
but I burn like a lobster,

239
00:16:13,997 --> 00:16:15,666
so I'm gonna get
a good swim shirt

240
00:16:15,749 --> 00:16:19,085
and, bonus, it's gonna hide
the gallbladder scar.

241
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:29,680
Oh, yeah. Sure.

242
00:16:29,805 --> 00:16:32,683
Come on. Okay, bitches,

243
00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:35,602
who's first in line
for some puppy lovin'?

244
00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:37,521
Puppy lovin'!

245
00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:41,941
He's so cute.

246
00:16:42,025 --> 00:16:44,152
He looks just like my dog
from when I was a kid.

247
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:45,696
Except mine was
more of a Dachshund,

248
00:16:45,862 --> 00:16:47,364
but the nostril
part is the same.

249
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:49,157
You look just like Chummy.

250
00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,201
Make him do a trick.

251
00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:53,119
She doesn't know any yet.

252
00:16:53,244 --> 00:16:54,830
Well, maybe you can
take some time off

253
00:16:54,954 --> 00:16:56,498
from sitting
around eating all day,

254
00:16:56,581 --> 00:16:58,458
and teach him something.

255
00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:02,128
Fucking asshole.

256
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:05,048
Chapman wrote me three letters
for my case and it did fuck-all.

257
00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:07,384
They ain't lettin' people out who
hasn't done their whole time.

258
00:17:07,551 --> 00:17:10,721
Well, I ain't people.
I'm training for this, bitch.

259
00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:14,265
And I ain't never comin' back,
neither, not like the rest of y'all.

260
00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:18,061
Like Oprah say,
"the road less traveled."

261
00:17:18,186 --> 00:17:20,063
You know, that doesn't mean
what everybody thinks it means.

262
00:17:20,313 --> 00:17:22,899
Aw, shit, we about to
get educated and shit.

263
00:17:23,024 --> 00:17:25,569
No, no, no. I'm just saying that
everyone thinks the poem means

264
00:17:25,652 --> 00:17:27,571
to break away from the crowd
and, like, do your own thing.

265
00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:29,573
But if you read it,
Frost is very clear

266
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:31,616
that the two roads
are exactly the same.

267
00:17:31,742 --> 00:17:33,368
He just chooses one at random.

268
00:17:33,451 --> 00:17:35,953
And then it's only later at a dinner
party, when he's talking about it

269
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:37,205
that he tells
everybody he chose

270
00:17:37,288 --> 00:17:38,928
the road less
traveled by, but he's lying.

271
00:17:43,336 --> 00:17:45,046
So the point of the poem is,

272
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:46,423
that everyone
wants to look back

273
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:47,758
and think that
their choices mattered,

274
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:51,511
but in reality, shit just happens
the way that it happens,

275
00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:53,847
and it does not mean anything.

276
00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:58,101
I will probably kill
her in her sleep tonight.

277
00:17:58,226 --> 00:18:00,103
Wake me up so I can watch.

278
00:18:01,438 --> 00:18:02,814
I'm gonna...

279
00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:05,942
Laundry.

280
00:18:06,025 --> 00:18:08,695
You ever notice how some dog
breeds, they sound kind of dirty?

281
00:18:09,195 --> 00:18:13,742
Like, shih tzu,
cocker, Jack-something.

282
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:16,160
Poodle.

283
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:19,581
That is good.

284
00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:23,460
I didn't think of that one.
That is very clever.

285
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,797
Hey, you know what, guys?
Look at that face.

286
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,757
I'm gonna call her Little Boo.
Aw!

287
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,009
Little Boo.
Who's a little boo? Yes!

288
00:18:32,969 --> 00:18:34,053
Hello?

289
00:18:34,178 --> 00:18:35,305
It's closed.

290
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:38,642
Alex?

291
00:18:42,228 --> 00:18:44,481
I was just gonna
drop this off, but...

292
00:18:45,816 --> 00:18:47,024
Tomorrow.

293
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:48,151
Just give it.

294
00:18:50,654 --> 00:18:51,655
Give it to me.

295
00:18:54,449 --> 00:18:55,659
Attention all personnel,

296
00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:58,495
be advised count is off. Can
we please conduct a recount?

297
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:09,255
Do you remember the Four
Seasons in the Seychelles?

298
00:19:14,511 --> 00:19:16,805
Gosh, we just threw
our laundry into the hallway,

299
00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:18,765
it was like 40 bucks
for a pair of pants.

300
00:19:29,442 --> 00:19:30,485
Hey.

301
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,615
I've been thinking about it...

302
00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:38,284
...a lot.

303
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,247
And I just
wanted to let you know

304
00:19:43,373 --> 00:19:45,542
that there are
no hard feelings.

305
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:50,380
I was pretty angry,
but, I'm over it.

306
00:19:52,507 --> 00:19:54,384
So, um...

307
00:19:56,386 --> 00:19:57,679
Friend?

308
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:00,724
Wow.

309
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:04,561
That's really
big of you, Pipes.

310
00:20:12,151 --> 00:20:13,152
It's not a club.

311
00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:14,362
It's a class.

312
00:20:14,487 --> 00:20:16,447
They teach you to
dance on a pole.

313
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:22,245
If you want to be a stripper,
you can wait until I die.

314
00:20:22,453 --> 00:20:27,834
It's not stripping. It's for nice
ladies, housewives. For exercise.

315
00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:31,963
That's what they tell you!

316
00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:34,966
Then one day you
wake up in Atlantic City...

317
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:37,260
where girls are trash...

318
00:20:37,343 --> 00:20:40,055
and I'm lighting candles
under your picture.

319
00:20:40,805 --> 00:20:45,435
Can we please speak
English at the table?

320
00:20:48,855 --> 00:20:50,523
Just at the table?

321
00:20:57,822 --> 00:21:00,283
Two more years
for a green card.

322
00:21:01,451 --> 00:21:02,702
Be nice.

323
00:21:02,994 --> 00:21:04,913
You don't have to fuck him.

324
00:21:06,163 --> 00:21:09,667
I should be lucky, a decent
man wants to fuck me.

325
00:21:12,087 --> 00:21:13,088
Oy.

326
00:21:13,296 --> 00:21:14,297
English.

327
00:21:18,635 --> 00:21:19,803
He's not eating.

328
00:21:21,262 --> 00:21:22,513
English.

329
00:21:26,476 --> 00:21:29,104
You look very
pretty in that dress.

330
00:21:29,813 --> 00:21:33,190
Thank you, Sam. It is very...

331
00:21:35,151 --> 00:21:36,152
...blue.

332
00:21:43,159 --> 00:21:45,000
You guys ever notice how,
once you're a couple,

333
00:21:45,036 --> 00:21:46,956
you pretty much only hang out
with other couples?

334
00:21:47,831 --> 00:21:52,085
A guy, a girl and another guy?
It just looks weird.

335
00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:54,087
People probably just assume
you're divorced.

336
00:21:54,838 --> 00:21:57,674
Oh. Great, so,
I look divorced,

337
00:21:57,799 --> 00:22:02,219
which conveys sadness and
ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees,

338
00:22:02,345 --> 00:22:04,472
or I look single,
34 and single,

339
00:22:04,597 --> 00:22:06,724
which must mean there's
something wrong with me.

340
00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:09,727
Like, you keep
large reptiles in tanks.

341
00:22:09,853 --> 00:22:11,938
Or I have a very special
relationship with my mother.

342
00:22:13,023 --> 00:22:15,150
I just look like a loser.

343
00:22:15,358 --> 00:22:16,798
Why don't you
switch seats with Pete?

344
00:22:16,901 --> 00:22:18,421
You're okay being a loser,
right, babe?

345
00:22:18,736 --> 00:22:20,071
I don't wanna
look like a loser.

346
00:22:20,196 --> 00:22:23,992
Okay, now look, what am I
complaining about, right?

347
00:22:24,075 --> 00:22:25,368
I mean, seriously, you know?

348
00:22:25,493 --> 00:22:28,454
We're sitting here, we're gonna
enjoy some small plates,

349
00:22:28,538 --> 00:22:30,247
while Piper sits in prison.

350
00:22:30,373 --> 00:22:32,291
You know what? Fuck Piper.

351
00:22:33,543 --> 00:22:35,252
She's in prison and it sucks.

352
00:22:35,378 --> 00:22:37,005
Let's also
stipulate there are children

353
00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:38,756
are dying of
diarrhea in Malawi.

354
00:22:38,882 --> 00:22:41,163
That doesn't mean we don't get
to complain about our lives.

355
00:22:41,176 --> 00:22:44,261
I am pregnant and the heat in our
apartment is always too high

356
00:22:44,387 --> 00:22:46,806
and it gives me nosebleeds,
and that is happening.

357
00:22:46,890 --> 00:22:50,060
Pete isn't getting laid and
he's grown that horrible beard.

358
00:22:50,185 --> 00:22:51,394
You look like a loser.

359
00:22:52,145 --> 00:22:53,855
We're all
allowed to feel shitty

360
00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:55,690
about things in our
lives that are shitty.

361
00:22:55,815 --> 00:22:58,609
And happy about
things that are awesome.

362
00:22:58,735 --> 00:23:00,403
Like this awesome beard!
Ugh.

363
00:23:00,486 --> 00:23:01,612
And your column.

364
00:23:01,738 --> 00:23:03,198
What? That's happening?

365
00:23:03,364 --> 00:23:06,450
Who can resist a "Felonious
Fiancee" story, right?

366
00:23:07,744 --> 00:23:09,913
Yeah,
it's, it's totally happening.

367
00:23:10,038 --> 00:23:12,207
New York Times, baby.
"Modern Love."

368
00:23:12,373 --> 00:23:14,249
That's huge!
Yeah.

369
00:23:14,417 --> 00:23:16,753
Does Piper know?
Is she cool about it?

370
00:23:17,252 --> 00:23:19,589
I mean, sort of.

371
00:23:19,714 --> 00:23:24,177
Yeah, I mean, she's
sorting out her feelings,

372
00:23:24,385 --> 00:23:26,096
I guess, you know.

373
00:23:26,221 --> 00:23:30,558
I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know.
Now that it's for sure.

374
00:23:37,732 --> 00:23:38,733
Oh, man!

375
00:23:47,366 --> 00:23:49,284
What's up with that, girl?

376
00:23:55,374 --> 00:23:57,292
Would you shut the fuck up.

377
00:23:57,835 --> 00:24:00,255
I know you ain't fucking
with my beauty rest, yo.

378
00:24:00,379 --> 00:24:02,090
It's fucking Watson, man.

379
00:24:02,715 --> 00:24:05,342
They closed
the track on me, haters.

380
00:24:05,468 --> 00:24:07,804
I ain't gonna get soft
like the rest of y'all.

381
00:24:07,929 --> 00:24:09,209
Look, none of that's
gonna matter

382
00:24:09,304 --> 00:24:11,432
when they throw your
ass in SHU, part two.

383
00:24:11,515 --> 00:24:13,768
I got 10 minutes before
the CO come back around.

384
00:24:13,851 --> 00:24:16,229
Man, somebody get this bitch
a hamster wheel.

385
00:24:17,730 --> 00:24:19,607
What you gonna do
about it, Jemima?

386
00:24:20,191 --> 00:24:21,442
The hell you just call me?

387
00:24:22,693 --> 00:24:25,196
I said, what you gonna do?

388
00:24:26,948 --> 00:24:28,532
Lightning fast!

389
00:24:29,408 --> 00:24:30,888
Did you see
the Fillmore coach's face?

390
00:24:31,661 --> 00:24:34,747
He had no idea what happened to him.
You happened to him.

391
00:24:34,831 --> 00:24:36,207
I just ran, Coach.

392
00:24:36,373 --> 00:24:37,734
Well,
Watson, you just ran yourself

393
00:24:37,750 --> 00:24:39,030
into the high
school record book.

394
00:24:39,585 --> 00:24:40,962
That gonna help
with scholarships?

395
00:24:41,087 --> 00:24:42,688
Girl, colleges will
be fighting over you.

396
00:24:44,507 --> 00:24:45,925
Now, you get dressed.
Okay.

397
00:24:46,009 --> 00:24:49,053
I'll introduce you around, all right?
They're all waiting.

398
00:25:09,991 --> 00:25:11,034
You ran good.

399
00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:12,994
I know it.

400
00:25:20,210 --> 00:25:25,340
The universe did you wrong. Then
they took away your track, I get it.

401
00:25:26,216 --> 00:25:28,134
What you talking 'bout,
you get it?

402
00:25:28,218 --> 00:25:30,803
Yo, go on back to the suburbs,
string cheese.

403
00:25:31,428 --> 00:25:34,431
I was like you once.
Pissed off,

404
00:25:35,558 --> 00:25:38,228
thought the world
owed me something.

405
00:25:38,353 --> 00:25:41,731
It took me a long time
to let go of that anger.

406
00:25:41,939 --> 00:25:45,400
Bitch, you lying to yourself with
this whole Namaste bullshit.

407
00:25:45,609 --> 00:25:47,362
You're a step ahead already,

408
00:25:47,444 --> 00:25:50,698
channeling your feelings
through physical activity,

409
00:25:50,781 --> 00:25:53,993
which means,
the mind and body connect.

410
00:25:54,869 --> 00:25:58,748
Who touched you, yo?
Was it your uncle?

411
00:26:01,209 --> 00:26:02,585
Your daddy?

412
00:26:03,211 --> 00:26:07,590
Okay, you want to project your
issues onto me? That's cool.

413
00:26:09,592 --> 00:26:10,927
But I feel bad for you.

414
00:26:12,345 --> 00:26:16,933
That negative energy
is gonna eat you up inside.

415
00:26:18,101 --> 00:26:20,019
Man, you this deep in the shit,

416
00:26:20,144 --> 00:26:22,063
you must have done
something fucking evil.

417
00:26:22,897 --> 00:26:23,898
Huh?

418
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:27,610
Why you in here, yo?

419
00:26:28,945 --> 00:26:30,405
Did you kill someone?

420
00:26:31,864 --> 00:26:33,950
You fucked a kid?

421
00:26:34,284 --> 00:26:35,285
Oh!

422
00:26:36,786 --> 00:26:38,246
You kill a kid?

423
00:26:47,630 --> 00:26:49,299
That's what I thought.

424
00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:54,971
Huh!

425
00:27:12,322 --> 00:27:14,407
Chapman, come in.

426
00:27:14,489 --> 00:27:16,993
Or vojdite,
as they say in Kiev.

427
00:27:17,201 --> 00:27:18,202
Ahh!

428
00:27:18,661 --> 00:27:19,954
Are you planning a vacation?

429
00:27:20,121 --> 00:27:21,496
If I were,
it would be somewhere

430
00:27:21,622 --> 00:27:23,022
you drink rum out
of a mini volcano.

431
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:25,751
What can I do for you?

432
00:27:26,543 --> 00:27:27,544
The track.

433
00:27:28,212 --> 00:27:30,172
You know, I once saw this
lecture on YouTube called

434
00:27:30,173 --> 00:27:32,049
"23 and 1/2 Hours."

435
00:27:32,175 --> 00:27:35,052
It's one of those things where
someone draws on a whiteboard?

436
00:27:35,178 --> 00:27:36,511
And it says...

437
00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:39,414
Well, if the Internet says it,
then we better listen up, eh?

438
00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:42,268
Hmm.

439
00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:47,023
How much money does this institution
spend on healthcare per year?

440
00:27:48,607 --> 00:27:52,945
Walking for a half an hour a day
reduces the risk of anxiety,

441
00:27:53,154 --> 00:27:57,033
arthritis, depression, things
like dementia and diabetes.

442
00:27:57,116 --> 00:27:58,159
It helps with everything.

443
00:27:58,242 --> 00:28:01,287
If you could save money
on medical expenses

444
00:28:01,371 --> 00:28:04,623
with something as simple as
walking, why wouldn't you?

445
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,456
I mean, in the long term...

446
00:28:06,541 --> 00:28:10,338
No one here gives a crap
about the long term, Chapman.

447
00:28:11,214 --> 00:28:12,256
Yo, Preparation H.

448
00:28:13,799 --> 00:28:16,010
Oops. Sorry.

449
00:28:16,219 --> 00:28:19,347
I'll come back when you're
done taking orders.

450
00:28:23,518 --> 00:28:25,061
Sitting around all day
is the worst possible thing

451
00:28:25,186 --> 00:28:26,729
that you can do for your body.

452
00:28:26,854 --> 00:28:28,014
We're already doing the time.

453
00:28:28,064 --> 00:28:29,482
I've got a deal
for you, Chapman.

454
00:28:31,442 --> 00:28:36,239
Caputo thinks a CO's been putting
inside photos on the Internet,

455
00:28:36,613 --> 00:28:39,950
but I think that kind of nonsense
is too stupid even for a CO.

456
00:28:40,326 --> 00:28:41,660
I don't know
what you're asking.

457
00:28:42,995 --> 00:28:47,166
Let's say an inmate is hiding a
camera or a cell phone or something.

458
00:28:48,334 --> 00:28:52,713
And you find it for me, I'll take
a look at opening that track.

459
00:28:55,758 --> 00:28:57,634
Prison's a big place,
Mr. Healy.

460
00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:00,430
I have confidence in you.

461
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,532
Prisoner return to custody.
Prisoner return to custody.

462
00:29:19,990 --> 00:29:23,660
What's with the grin, Bennett? You
got some new silk panties on?

463
00:29:26,622 --> 00:29:30,293
Or what,
you get laid or something?

464
00:29:33,504 --> 00:29:35,131
Oh, shit!

465
00:29:35,214 --> 00:29:37,467
Bennett got laid!

466
00:29:38,468 --> 00:29:41,804
Come on, man. Spill the beans,
you fucking pussy monster.

467
00:29:41,887 --> 00:29:43,097
Was she Asian?

468
00:29:43,222 --> 00:29:44,432
No.

469
00:29:45,224 --> 00:29:47,726
I hear their
shit goes sideways.

470
00:29:49,479 --> 00:29:51,314
Well? Go ahead.

471
00:29:53,941 --> 00:29:55,234
Okay, I got laid.

472
00:29:55,318 --> 00:29:59,822
Yes! I knew it! I knew it,
you dirty whore! Come on.

473
00:30:00,656 --> 00:30:03,033
I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad.

474
00:30:03,993 --> 00:30:07,497
Tell me, man.
What about her tits?

475
00:30:07,580 --> 00:30:11,250
Were they like big
floppy fucking milk jugs

476
00:30:11,334 --> 00:30:13,169
or a nice,
tight, little handful?

477
00:30:13,294 --> 00:30:14,462
What was it?

478
00:30:18,007 --> 00:30:19,008
They were fake.

479
00:30:19,175 --> 00:30:20,176
Oh!

480
00:30:20,801 --> 00:30:25,556
She's half-Asian,
half-Brazilian.

481
00:30:28,184 --> 00:30:29,352
She's got this sister.

482
00:30:32,896 --> 00:30:34,524
Jesus fucking Christ.

483
00:30:37,443 --> 00:30:42,114
Miss Jefferson, why do you
deserve to be released?

484
00:30:42,198 --> 00:30:43,533
Thank you, sir.

485
00:30:43,616 --> 00:30:45,201
Let the record show

486
00:30:45,326 --> 00:30:48,204
I only had three infractions
for all my time here.

487
00:30:48,329 --> 00:30:52,542
One was for smacking a bitch for not
respecting my ice machine choices,

488
00:30:52,667 --> 00:30:56,712
and, well, the second...
They was bullshit.

489
00:30:56,795 --> 00:31:00,257
Also, I ain't never missed a
day workin' in the library.

490
00:31:00,466 --> 00:31:04,428
Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed."
The shit sound more elegant.

491
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,264
Also, maybe go easy
on the bitch-smacking?

492
00:31:07,390 --> 00:31:08,641
Like, don't bring that shit up.

493
00:31:09,559 --> 00:31:11,477
All right.
Miss Jefferson,

494
00:31:11,602 --> 00:31:13,563
what have you learned from
your time in prison?

495
00:31:13,688 --> 00:31:15,898
Learned?
I ain't learned nothing.

496
00:31:16,023 --> 00:31:19,318
I came in this motherfucker
innocent, I'm still innocent.

497
00:31:19,402 --> 00:31:20,403
You keep talkin'
about innocent,

498
00:31:20,570 --> 00:31:21,529
you gonna slide on back in here

499
00:31:21,612 --> 00:31:23,280
like you got
a magnet up your ass.

500
00:31:23,406 --> 00:31:24,448
I ain't do nothing.

501
00:31:24,574 --> 00:31:25,866
Look, me, neither, all right?

502
00:31:25,991 --> 00:31:28,632
We are all just in here 'cause we
took a wrong turn goin' to church.

503
00:31:29,412 --> 00:31:33,499
Listen, what you did or didn't do.
That shit is irrelevant now.

504
00:31:33,583 --> 00:31:34,917
You gotta show remorse, fool.

505
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,920
Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go
and seen the error of your ways.

506
00:31:38,045 --> 00:31:40,089
Now you gonna help
the underprivileged youth

507
00:31:40,214 --> 00:31:42,216
learn to play chess or whatnot.

508
00:31:42,299 --> 00:31:44,500
You know, so they don't end up
like your sorry ass self.

509
00:31:44,552 --> 00:31:45,720
Man, I ain't sorry!

510
00:31:45,802 --> 00:31:47,221
Aye, look, look, look.
This bitch!

511
00:31:47,304 --> 00:31:48,431
Tell 'em, tell 'em
you goin' to college.

512
00:31:48,556 --> 00:31:49,806
Man, what if I did?

513
00:31:51,308 --> 00:31:53,436
What you gonna major in?
Ebonics?

514
00:31:53,644 --> 00:31:55,229
I could be a law secretary.

515
00:31:55,312 --> 00:31:58,399
The shit I learned in my job, I'm
like Rain Man with that shit.

516
00:31:58,482 --> 00:32:01,151
You know what, sit your ass down.
It's time to get serious.

517
00:32:04,947 --> 00:32:06,323
What you gonna do about hair?

518
00:32:06,490 --> 00:32:07,491
Oh!

519
00:32:14,039 --> 00:32:16,125
But if you get
some puta pregnant...

520
00:33:23,192 --> 00:33:25,861
Gonna go and
bounce on daddy's lap?

521
00:33:27,196 --> 00:33:28,197
What did I do now?

522
00:33:28,698 --> 00:33:30,324
Don't be all cute, college.

523
00:33:32,201 --> 00:33:34,787
Have you seen my teeth?
Like, really?

524
00:33:35,204 --> 00:33:36,372
Wow. They're...

525
00:33:37,122 --> 00:33:38,207
Pretty fucked up, huh?

526
00:33:38,374 --> 00:33:39,458
Yeah.

527
00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:40,959
Genetics mostly.

528
00:33:41,293 --> 00:33:42,294
Oh.

529
00:33:42,712 --> 00:33:45,339
But my cousin, she's doin'
15 over at Lexington,

530
00:33:45,422 --> 00:33:50,010
and she got a whole new set from
the United States of America,

531
00:33:50,093 --> 00:33:51,887
D-O-C.

532
00:33:52,763 --> 00:33:54,014
Congratulations.

533
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,481
So it's fine that
you're teacher's pet and all,

534
00:33:56,517 --> 00:33:58,227
but let's,
like, see what you can do.

535
00:34:00,730 --> 00:34:01,772
You want new teeth?

536
00:34:04,567 --> 00:34:07,236
Oh! Because of WAC.

537
00:34:07,778 --> 00:34:10,573
The thing is, I don't think I can.
It's not even a real thing.

538
00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:12,949
You think you're some kind
of special, don't you?

539
00:34:13,116 --> 00:34:14,451
No, I'm serious. It's a scam.

540
00:34:14,577 --> 00:34:15,952
Which, when you think about it,

541
00:34:16,078 --> 00:34:17,954
we really all
should've seen coming.

542
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,750
Let me
tell you something, college.

543
00:34:21,958 --> 00:34:24,920
They're gonna treat you nice
and they're gonna use you.

544
00:34:26,255 --> 00:34:28,674
Then when you're all used up,

545
00:34:28,883 --> 00:34:32,344
you ain't gonna be nothin'.

546
00:34:33,095 --> 00:34:34,513
Knock it off, Pennsatucky.

547
00:34:36,891 --> 00:34:40,102
You sellin' us out? For what?

548
00:34:53,156 --> 00:34:56,368
Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave
the grunt work to the grunts.

549
00:34:56,452 --> 00:34:57,453
Hmm.

550
00:34:57,953 --> 00:35:01,957
I let the girls do this, half the
potato comes off with the peel.

551
00:35:03,292 --> 00:35:07,963
Seems to me like you're just
aching to put that down for a few

552
00:35:08,839 --> 00:35:09,924
and make me a sandwich.

553
00:35:10,758 --> 00:35:12,008
Not particularly.

554
00:35:22,185 --> 00:35:23,228
What kind?

555
00:35:24,814 --> 00:35:26,231
Balogna and cheese.

556
00:35:29,109 --> 00:35:30,486
No mustard.

557
00:35:31,821 --> 00:35:33,196
Double the mayo.

558
00:35:34,114 --> 00:35:36,283
Oh...

559
00:35:36,492 --> 00:35:37,891
This is great.

560
00:35:39,453 --> 00:35:45,125
This makes me very happy.

561
00:35:47,169 --> 00:35:48,170
See?

562
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,257
You didn't want to
do it at first, right?

563
00:35:52,341 --> 00:35:56,219
But, now, I'm happy,
and it's no big deal for you.

564
00:35:56,345 --> 00:35:57,638
What do you want?

565
00:35:57,763 --> 00:35:59,055
I wanna be friends.

566
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,144
Friends who take
care of each other.

567
00:36:06,092 --> 00:36:09,136
You got boxes coming in
with a little something extra.

568
00:36:09,845 --> 00:36:11,430
Maybe your guy gets with my guy

569
00:36:11,555 --> 00:36:13,140
and brings in
something extra for me.

570
00:36:15,017 --> 00:36:16,727
No problem.

571
00:36:16,810 --> 00:36:20,773
Just tell me if you want
zit cream or pantyhose.

572
00:36:21,774 --> 00:36:26,153
What my guy sends, it's a little
more of a specialty item.

573
00:36:27,654 --> 00:36:29,823
Since when are
pills so special?

574
00:36:30,741 --> 00:36:31,784
Give you 5%.

575
00:36:34,787 --> 00:36:38,165
What am I supposed to do with 5%?
Burn it for heat?

576
00:36:39,625 --> 00:36:42,295
My commissary maxes out at $300

577
00:36:42,461 --> 00:36:45,131
and I got all
the toothpaste I need.

578
00:36:45,672 --> 00:36:48,426
10%, final offer.

579
00:36:50,469 --> 00:36:51,511
I...

580
00:36:53,264 --> 00:36:57,977
...don't do that shit!

581
00:36:58,269 --> 00:37:03,690
This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!
It doesn't matter what you do.

582
00:37:04,942 --> 00:37:07,194
It's the doing
that makes you dirty.

583
00:37:08,446 --> 00:37:10,656
Don't play games with me, Red.

584
00:37:11,740 --> 00:37:14,160
You got no more moves, Mendez.

585
00:37:15,995 --> 00:37:18,122
This is it, man.

586
00:37:19,915 --> 00:37:23,085
There is nothing here.

587
00:37:25,296 --> 00:37:28,507
You got nothing on me.

588
00:37:41,854 --> 00:37:44,064
Oh, man!

589
00:37:47,485 --> 00:37:50,363
Guess things just
got messy in here.

590
00:37:58,078 --> 00:38:00,498
Everything's been deleted off this
phone except for these photos.

591
00:38:00,580 --> 00:38:02,375
I know! People, right?

592
00:38:02,458 --> 00:38:04,251
Well, where was it?
In the trash can.

593
00:38:04,418 --> 00:38:05,419
Where?

594
00:38:06,253 --> 00:38:07,796
I don't know, I just found it.

595
00:38:09,507 --> 00:38:11,008
You know,
I appreciate that fact that

596
00:38:11,133 --> 00:38:12,634
you don't wanna
snitch on anyone.

597
00:38:13,344 --> 00:38:16,263
The way these inmates treat
snitches, it's ugly.

598
00:38:17,473 --> 00:38:21,435
But if you can't tell me
who owns this phone,

599
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,729
I'm afraid I can't
help you with the track.

600
00:38:24,063 --> 00:38:26,899
That is not what you said to me.
You said specifically...

601
00:38:26,982 --> 00:38:31,945
I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard.
But, unless I have a name...

602
00:38:36,700 --> 00:38:37,784
Enjoy the phone.

603
00:38:40,913 --> 00:38:42,664
Nice work, Chapman.

604
00:38:45,418 --> 00:38:48,921
I'm giving you one more minute to
pout and then I'm shaving you bald.

605
00:38:50,506 --> 00:38:51,965
Sporting a chunk
of white girl hair,

606
00:38:52,091 --> 00:38:53,652
look like you took
a scalp or some shit.

607
00:38:54,427 --> 00:38:55,844
Yo, yo, you need
to get you that

608
00:38:55,969 --> 00:38:57,388
Michelle Obama hair, for reals.

609
00:38:57,471 --> 00:38:59,932
White folks scared of Obama.

610
00:39:00,099 --> 00:39:04,937
I wanna look like Mo'Nique
from Essence magazine, 2008.

611
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:06,397
Girl, please, ain't enough
relaxer in the world

612
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,481
for that bullshit.

613
00:39:07,606 --> 00:39:09,442
Now what makes you
so sure the board is white?

614
00:39:09,567 --> 00:39:10,526
Point. True.

615
00:39:10,609 --> 00:39:13,279
There be brothers on the board,
I'm gonna be free at last, yo,

616
00:39:13,362 --> 00:39:16,449
'cause ain't no black man
gonna let a fine black woman

617
00:39:16,532 --> 00:39:18,909
such as me hide
her light in jail.

618
00:39:18,992 --> 00:39:22,580
Fool, brother is gonna be harder
on you, to show he got no bias.

619
00:39:22,662 --> 00:39:24,457
Shit, you better
hope for the whities.

620
00:39:24,623 --> 00:39:25,791
Yo, hope for white women.

621
00:39:25,874 --> 00:39:28,668
Y'all know how they love drinking
wine with their friends,

622
00:39:28,794 --> 00:39:31,338
talking 'bout how sad it is, black
folks ain't got their fair shakes.

623
00:39:31,464 --> 00:39:33,673
What, giving their housekeepers
a extra day off and shit.

624
00:39:33,799 --> 00:39:35,217
Y'all know what I'm saying?

625
00:39:35,301 --> 00:39:38,887
So you wanna look
like the black best friend

626
00:39:39,221 --> 00:39:40,431
in the white girl movie?

627
00:39:40,514 --> 00:39:44,768
Right. Okay, so you got Regina
King in Miss Congeniality.

628
00:39:44,893 --> 00:39:48,230
You got Alicia Keys in that
Nanny Diaries bullshit

629
00:39:48,314 --> 00:39:49,514
with ScarJo.
I didn't see that.

630
00:39:50,774 --> 00:39:52,734
And Regina King
in Legally Blonde.

631
00:39:54,027 --> 00:39:55,613
Now, you not thinking
big enough.

632
00:39:55,779 --> 00:39:56,905
What?

633
00:39:57,197 --> 00:39:58,698
Viola Davis.

634
00:39:59,241 --> 00:40:00,242
Oh.

635
00:40:00,618 --> 00:40:01,994
Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!

636
00:40:02,161 --> 00:40:04,079
I gotta live
with this hair, yo.

637
00:40:04,830 --> 00:40:06,499
Do me like Rihanna.

638
00:40:06,624 --> 00:40:09,876
Rihanna when? She had, like, 26
hairdos in the past two years.

639
00:40:10,127 --> 00:40:12,171
2009 Rihanna, I got to spell
that shit out for you?

640
00:40:12,338 --> 00:40:14,881
Look, everybody's still hatin'
on Chris Brown,

641
00:40:15,007 --> 00:40:17,843
so maybe they'll throw me a
bone gettin' back at that fool.

642
00:40:19,052 --> 00:40:20,387
♪ Beat a bitch down

643
00:40:20,513 --> 00:40:22,055
♪ If you're named Chris Brown

644
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:23,723
♪ Beat a bitch down ♪

645
00:40:32,650 --> 00:40:33,775
The fuck is that?

646
00:40:34,151 --> 00:40:36,529
Litchfield one,
pussy shutterbug zero.

647
00:40:37,363 --> 00:40:39,031
You put a straw in coffee?

648
00:40:39,406 --> 00:40:40,866
I just had my teeth bleached.

649
00:40:42,451 --> 00:40:43,452
Where was it?

650
00:40:43,785 --> 00:40:45,204
Healy found it.

651
00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:47,873
Good to know someone around
here is on his game.

652
00:40:48,541 --> 00:40:50,042
He "found" it?

653
00:40:50,834 --> 00:40:52,919
You're buying that, no contest?

654
00:40:53,045 --> 00:40:55,797
What, you think Healy's
running around here like a frat boy

655
00:40:55,881 --> 00:40:57,090
taking pictures of snatch?

656
00:40:58,551 --> 00:40:59,751
I think we should look into it.

657
00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:02,721
Seems kind of irrelevant now,
don't you think?

658
00:41:05,599 --> 00:41:07,393
We both know you're
after my job, Joe.

659
00:41:08,060 --> 00:41:10,812
But I'm not worried. Never have been.
Know why?

660
00:41:11,188 --> 00:41:13,315
'Cause you get
mired down in pettiness

661
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,568
instead of
stepping your shit up.

662
00:41:16,985 --> 00:41:18,320
Nice haircut, by the way.

663
00:41:34,169 --> 00:41:35,212
Thanks.

664
00:41:35,504 --> 00:41:36,672
Sure.

665
00:41:37,923 --> 00:41:39,925
I keep feeling like I know you
from somewhere.

666
00:41:41,093 --> 00:41:42,333
You didn't go to Smith,
did you?

667
00:41:44,763 --> 00:41:45,931
Cabot High Wildcats?

668
00:41:46,014 --> 00:41:47,266
Nope.

669
00:41:48,058 --> 00:41:50,603
You know, I lived in Red Hook
for a while after college.

670
00:41:51,437 --> 00:41:53,313
I used to bag
groceries at Fairway.

671
00:41:53,439 --> 00:41:54,607
No way!

672
00:41:54,814 --> 00:41:56,734
Oh, my God, I remember you.

673
00:41:56,816 --> 00:41:58,235
You were always
forgetting your cloth bags.

674
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,760
And I would pack
everything in paper

675
00:41:59,819 --> 00:42:01,947
and then you'd remember and get
the bags out of your purse

676
00:42:02,030 --> 00:42:03,365
and make me
re-pack everything.

677
00:42:03,907 --> 00:42:06,744
Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did
happen a couple of times, huh.

678
00:42:06,910 --> 00:42:10,289
Every time. For months.
You were a pain in the ass.

679
00:42:10,372 --> 00:42:11,707
Well...

680
00:42:11,915 --> 00:42:14,209
Who'da thunk we'd
end up here, huh?

681
00:42:15,586 --> 00:42:19,214
Anyway, I just want you to know,
that as far as I'm concerned,

682
00:42:19,298 --> 00:42:21,133
you and me are the same.

683
00:42:21,883 --> 00:42:22,884
Pardon?

684
00:42:22,968 --> 00:42:23,969
The only
difference between us is,

685
00:42:24,052 --> 00:42:26,805
when I made bad decisions in
life, I didn't get caught.

686
00:42:26,930 --> 00:42:29,099
It coulda been me
here in khaki, easy.

687
00:42:30,517 --> 00:42:31,727
Thank you for saying that.

688
00:42:34,313 --> 00:42:35,814
You know,
it's really nice to know

689
00:42:35,939 --> 00:42:37,441
that there's
somebody on our side.

690
00:42:37,899 --> 00:42:39,401
Well, you know.

691
00:42:42,237 --> 00:42:45,282
You know what would really help
to boost morale around here?

692
00:42:49,787 --> 00:42:51,497
You know, I saw that
bitch heading on over

693
00:42:51,580 --> 00:42:54,833
to Healy's office,
looking guilty as fuck.

694
00:42:56,042 --> 00:42:59,171
Guess suckin' dick's a little
easier than honest hard work.

695
00:42:59,338 --> 00:43:01,298
I feel sorry for her.

696
00:43:04,384 --> 00:43:06,261
You're right, Leanne.
Compassion

697
00:43:06,386 --> 00:43:08,305
is what we got
over the monkeys.

698
00:43:09,515 --> 00:43:10,683
You know what, though?

699
00:43:10,808 --> 00:43:14,894
Compassion ain't gonna help this
girl learn the way of things.

700
00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:16,563
I learned, we all learned.

701
00:43:17,481 --> 00:43:20,859
And that is that you have get
broken down to get raised back up.

702
00:43:21,109 --> 00:43:25,155
You know, I'm with you, hon.
Really.

703
00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:28,325
She's Waspy and
entitled and always

704
00:43:28,408 --> 00:43:30,035
asking if you have
this in whole grain,

705
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,287
she's got the Bambi shtick
going on, I get all of it.

706
00:43:32,705 --> 00:43:36,249
But I'm gonna need you to
shut the fuck up about her

707
00:43:36,375 --> 00:43:38,752
and get over your shit.

708
00:43:39,169 --> 00:43:40,212
Or what?

709
00:43:47,553 --> 00:43:49,054
Or I will fuck you.

710
00:43:50,764 --> 00:43:52,140
Literally.

711
00:43:53,225 --> 00:43:55,728
I will sneak into your bunk
in the middle of the night

712
00:43:55,894 --> 00:43:57,771
and I'll lick your pussy.

713
00:43:58,188 --> 00:44:01,483
And I will do it
so good and so soft

714
00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:04,778
that you're gonna be on the edge
of coming by the time you wake up,

715
00:44:04,903 --> 00:44:06,238
and then I'll stop.

716
00:44:07,823 --> 00:44:10,242
And you'll be half asleep
and you'll beg for it.

717
00:44:10,367 --> 00:44:11,577
Oh, you will beg for it.

718
00:44:13,662 --> 00:44:16,248
And maybe I'll be nice,
and maybe I won't,

719
00:44:16,373 --> 00:44:19,501
but if I am nice?
The things you feel?

720
00:44:21,795 --> 00:44:24,089
They will ruin you forever.

721
00:44:26,425 --> 00:44:30,387
So, you know, choose.

722
00:44:35,141 --> 00:44:37,977
And exhale slowly.

723
00:44:41,356 --> 00:44:45,110
And float all the way down.

724
00:44:49,782 --> 00:44:51,533
Halfway up,

725
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:59,957
and now roll all
the way down again,

726
00:45:03,211 --> 00:45:06,715
bend at the waist,
and let the arms hang.

727
00:45:11,969 --> 00:45:16,391
And continue to breathe,
and hang.

728
00:45:39,665 --> 00:45:40,874
Hey, what up?

729
00:45:40,998 --> 00:45:42,167
Hi.

730
00:45:42,292 --> 00:45:44,711
You got a minute? My man,
Three-D, wants to chat.

731
00:46:11,864 --> 00:46:13,448
You that track and
field girl, right?

732
00:46:14,700 --> 00:46:15,868
Yeah.

733
00:46:18,495 --> 00:46:19,705
You can't be here, yo.

734
00:46:20,079 --> 00:46:21,456
Little Frank told
me to come on by.

735
00:46:21,581 --> 00:46:24,001
Little Frank is not
a forward thinker.

736
00:46:30,757 --> 00:46:32,885
Look around you.
What you see?

737
00:46:34,386 --> 00:46:37,848
A party. People.

738
00:46:37,931 --> 00:46:39,182
What kinda people?

739
00:46:41,894 --> 00:46:42,936
Your crew.

740
00:46:43,436 --> 00:46:46,105
My crew, we thugs.

741
00:46:48,441 --> 00:46:52,863
We ain't finished school, we got
what we got until the next bust.

742
00:46:53,613 --> 00:46:55,490
It look like
you're doing okay to me.

743
00:46:59,285 --> 00:47:01,914
You're the real thing,
you feel me?

744
00:47:03,164 --> 00:47:05,333
Everything we playin' at,
everything we holdin',

745
00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:07,627
you can have it for real.

746
00:47:09,671 --> 00:47:11,965
You wanna fuck that up,
that's on you.

747
00:47:12,925 --> 00:47:14,509
I can't carry that.

748
00:47:16,261 --> 00:47:18,013
Yo, Richie.

749
00:47:22,475 --> 00:47:23,769
Make sure she gets home.

750
00:47:24,644 --> 00:47:28,815
You need money for sneakers
or whatever, give me a shout.

751
00:47:33,904 --> 00:47:35,906
I know where the door is.

752
00:47:48,627 --> 00:47:49,962
What up, rocket girl?

753
00:47:52,213 --> 00:47:53,840
I got booted, that's what.

754
00:47:53,966 --> 00:47:57,176
Well, Three-D got his own
ideas about right and wrong,

755
00:47:57,302 --> 00:47:58,971
like he Robin Hood
or something.

756
00:48:00,137 --> 00:48:01,180
And who are you?

757
00:48:01,932 --> 00:48:06,061
You wanna party, I'm the brother
that's not gonna stop you.

758
00:48:08,814 --> 00:48:12,859
You know, 'cause you got those
thick thighs on you, girl, like...

759
00:48:13,110 --> 00:48:15,361
Look good on a woman. Yeah.

760
00:48:15,946 --> 00:48:18,698
I usually go running and...

761
00:48:20,575 --> 00:48:23,328
Now, that dress, that's
not doin' you any favors.

762
00:48:27,248 --> 00:48:28,667
Let's share.

763
00:48:36,883 --> 00:48:38,510
Thank you.

764
00:48:38,593 --> 00:48:41,346
Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?

765
00:48:41,471 --> 00:48:44,349
What, is 70 your lucky number
or something? What is that?

766
00:48:45,851 --> 00:48:47,019
D-bag.

767
00:48:50,772 --> 00:48:51,773
What'll you have?

768
00:48:54,567 --> 00:48:55,568
This.

769
00:48:56,277 --> 00:48:57,988
I'm buying you a drink.

770
00:49:00,907 --> 00:49:02,951
Uh... Margarita?

771
00:49:04,619 --> 00:49:05,745
Okay.

772
00:49:11,376 --> 00:49:13,378
Let me ask you something.

773
00:49:15,047 --> 00:49:16,882
Do I seem pathetic to you?

774
00:49:17,340 --> 00:49:19,551
Before or after you
asked that question?

775
00:49:21,011 --> 00:49:22,846
This is my first
time out by myself.

776
00:49:24,472 --> 00:49:26,892
First time in
a long time, I mean.

777
00:49:28,060 --> 00:49:34,024
And I just don't wanna
be, you know, that guy.

778
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,739
That guy?

779
00:49:42,281 --> 00:49:44,450
That guy's worth
about $75 million.

780
00:49:45,618 --> 00:49:48,329
Yeah. He writes
action movies about robots

781
00:49:48,413 --> 00:49:50,053
that turn into other robots,
or something.

782
00:49:50,498 --> 00:49:51,624
And he tips well.

783
00:49:54,377 --> 00:49:55,754
You're doing just fine.

784
00:50:01,968 --> 00:50:02,969
Cheers.

785
00:50:03,095 --> 00:50:04,137
And to you.

786
00:50:10,810 --> 00:50:11,937
So what's your story?

787
00:50:15,941 --> 00:50:17,943
Jesus Christ.

788
00:50:18,110 --> 00:50:19,276
What?

789
00:50:19,945 --> 00:50:21,780
What's my story?

790
00:50:21,947 --> 00:50:23,782
I'm sorry, did I piss you off?

791
00:50:23,907 --> 00:50:26,283
No, you... Yes.

792
00:50:27,119 --> 00:50:28,411
Yes, I'm pissed off.

793
00:50:29,454 --> 00:50:32,082
Because, you're gorgeous.

794
00:50:33,541 --> 00:50:36,335
Your mouth is amazing.
Your neck?

795
00:50:36,461 --> 00:50:38,755
My God, your ass looks
great in those jeans.

796
00:50:38,838 --> 00:50:41,133
No offense,
I'm sorry, I just...

797
00:50:41,216 --> 00:50:43,260
And I feel shitty for
even looking at you.

798
00:50:43,342 --> 00:50:46,138
Because I have a fiancee.

799
00:50:48,389 --> 00:50:49,975
And you know what
else I can't do?

800
00:50:51,226 --> 00:50:52,309
Look at her.

801
00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:55,897
Because she's in
fucking prison.

802
00:50:56,606 --> 00:51:01,278
Yeah, yeah, because she did
something stupid and crazy and...

803
00:51:02,988 --> 00:51:07,993
...indicative of an ominously
shaky moral compass.

804
00:51:08,118 --> 00:51:11,537
And as a result I am stuck
here, alone, at this bar.

805
00:51:11,663 --> 00:51:14,499
Talking to you and enjoying it
and feeling like an asshole.

806
00:51:17,836 --> 00:51:19,671
Polly was right.
Fuck her.

807
00:51:29,430 --> 00:51:31,266
I'm gonna be in
the New York Times.

808
00:51:42,652 --> 00:51:45,571
Track is back open.
F-your-I.

809
00:51:45,697 --> 00:51:47,032
Pardon me?

810
00:51:48,033 --> 00:51:51,703
I'm reassigning Fischer, eight
hours a week. Her request.

811
00:51:52,162 --> 00:51:54,664
Apparently,
there's some film thing

812
00:51:54,789 --> 00:51:57,334
going around,
23 hours or whatever,

813
00:51:57,416 --> 00:52:01,880
says how exercise saves us
bucks in the long term.

814
00:52:02,379 --> 00:52:05,633
Which appeals to you, 'cause you're
chief bean-counter now, right?

815
00:52:06,634 --> 00:52:07,635
Uhh...

816
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:10,305
Fig is gonna eat that shit up.

817
00:52:10,722 --> 00:52:12,563
You come up with this
in a vision or something?

818
00:52:13,350 --> 00:52:16,811
It was all Fischer.
Trust the woman, right?

819
00:52:18,395 --> 00:52:21,066
Doesn't threaten
me to admit it,

820
00:52:21,233 --> 00:52:23,902
that is one smart piece of ass.

821
00:52:31,243 --> 00:52:34,579
No, no, no, no, no!
Mi Diablo! No!

822
00:52:46,258 --> 00:52:47,759
Holy shit.

823
00:52:53,848 --> 00:52:55,267
Jesus Christ, Flores.

824
00:53:01,940 --> 00:53:05,484
That was the only place in this
prison I could take a shit. Fuck!

825
00:53:06,736 --> 00:53:08,071
Fucking dios.

826
00:53:22,710 --> 00:53:25,462
You make them wait,
it ain't gonna help.

827
00:53:38,726 --> 00:53:40,728
Have a seat, Miss Jefferson.

828
00:53:57,578 --> 00:54:00,665
Yo. Yo, you see
that nigga face?

829
00:54:00,832 --> 00:54:02,499
Yo, Islam motherfucker
got so much beard,

830
00:54:02,625 --> 00:54:04,385
he ain't seen his own face
since high school.

831
00:54:04,461 --> 00:54:06,087
Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh.
You racist.

832
00:54:08,131 --> 00:54:09,331
Hit the corner, hit the corner.

833
00:54:09,341 --> 00:54:10,581
We gonna lose
'em at the corner.

834
00:54:13,678 --> 00:54:15,347
Wait up, yo!
Come on!

835
00:54:15,430 --> 00:54:18,057
I said, wait up.
Don't be showin' off.

836
00:54:19,934 --> 00:54:21,894
Put your hands
where I can see them!

837
00:54:22,603 --> 00:54:26,858
Get down on the ground.
Get down on the ground!

838
00:54:27,192 --> 00:54:28,525
Okay, okay.

839
00:55:01,460 --> 00:55:03,728
This don't make us even.

840
00:55:06,231 --> 00:55:07,357
Okay.

841
00:55:33,049 --> 00:55:43,969
Sync and corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com